Entry 06 4:14pm
Ezra: "Hey Ayla..."
Ayla: "...ya? Something wrong?"
Ezra: "...no...I just...well...Why does it feel like sometimes I don't know you..."
Ayla: "...huh?..."
Ezra: "Well...It's like I don't know what goes on in your life..."
Ayla: "........."
Ezra: "Are you mad?"
Ayla: "...not really...I guess I could be more open to you...but what made you think about this?"
Ezra: "...I don't know...Don't take it the wrong way but I found myself thinking about you and for
some strange reason I was bothered with the fact that I had no idea about what it is that you
actually do."
Ayla: "...I'm sorry Ezra but what else do you want from me!!??"
Ezra: "Jeez, I'm not asking for a damn miracle from you or anything. You don't have to come at me like that!"
Ayla: "Well how am I supposed to feel about this!? Because right now I feel like a let down, ONCE AGAIN!"
Ezra: "Oh my God, can you please stop it!! Every single time I ask you about YOU, you get like this! Do you see my point? Why are you becoming so defensive for something that.."
Ayla: "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!! I'LL DO WHATEVER THE HELL I FEEL
LIKE DOING!"
Ezra: "....Seriously?....like that?...."
Ayla: "....Hmph..."
Ezra: "..........."
Ayla: "..........."
Ezra: "...I'm sorry it's just that I don't even know the person I'm in love with..."
Ayla: "You're in......wait, what did you just say?"
Ezra: "I love you"
Ayla: "...I....uh...."
Ezra: "Look, lets just leave this alone right now. I got to go."
Exit Ezra
Ayla: "I'm sorry Ezra...I'm scared to fall in love. But I think it's too late. Which is why I don't open up to you..."
Monday, July 27, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
World of Trees
Entry 05 1:59pm
It's been over 2 months that I've felt like I've settled at this new place I call home. Yet I can't help but feel like some sort of foreigner from another country. Every morning I've stood outside staring at this world of trees in this state of surrealism wondering who I am here. 'I'm really in Georgia...' were my thoughts. I can't seem to grasp the idea yet. It's like standing inside of a glass bubble trying to touch the outside world but something invisible stops me from that everlasting connection. A better example would be remembering the first day of school not knowing what to expect from the environment or the people for that matter. The difference is that you're sitting in a seat that does not quite exist yet. The teacher does a roll call alphabetically but skips your name. I don't feel like I'm misplaced or unwanted. But for some reason I feel invisible. It's not that I haven't met anyone but then again I haven't met someone interesting yet. It's a kind of place where you live, you live, and you keep living. There's not much more to it. That's probably why I feel this life here is set on the easy difficulty settings. I'm used to the 'normal' mode but here 'normal' is considered 'ludicrous' mode. Boredom isn't exactly my issue either. Do you see my dilemma now?
These thoughts have overwhelmed my minds capacity. And today I have this strange feeling in my stomach again and I feel like something is going to happen. The last time I felt like that, nothing ended up happening. Unless of course my feelings were somehow connected to something or someone in California which I am completely unaware of. Now that I think about it, this loss of connectivity to my "now" could be severed because I haven't quite let go of my direct connection with my prior life. My brain constantly goes into 'detecting network settings' mode every morning and it can't seem to pick up any 'wi-fi' networks around my area. Disconnecting my prior network might help but the problem is finding out how. This world of trees is a place just waiting to be explored but I can't seem to look past a single leaf without thinking what is happening on the other side of the world. 'Home sick perhaps?' I thought. '...nah!' That couldn't be it. There is nothing I miss there besides my best friends. But that was expected. This feeling is frustrating me. Is it some sort of anxiety attack? Mix feeling nervous with a side order of confusion. Ya...not the best combo on the menu.
I love this world of trees. It is everything I've ever needed and more. But maybe these trees are blocking my sight from the sky. No it can't be it. I don't think I'm making any sense in this little bundle of thoughts so I'll stop writing for now. I feel like I'm standing to my back on one of these trees with a crimson apple on my head but the arrow shot in my throat instead.
It's been over 2 months that I've felt like I've settled at this new place I call home. Yet I can't help but feel like some sort of foreigner from another country. Every morning I've stood outside staring at this world of trees in this state of surrealism wondering who I am here. 'I'm really in Georgia...' were my thoughts. I can't seem to grasp the idea yet. It's like standing inside of a glass bubble trying to touch the outside world but something invisible stops me from that everlasting connection. A better example would be remembering the first day of school not knowing what to expect from the environment or the people for that matter. The difference is that you're sitting in a seat that does not quite exist yet. The teacher does a roll call alphabetically but skips your name. I don't feel like I'm misplaced or unwanted. But for some reason I feel invisible. It's not that I haven't met anyone but then again I haven't met someone interesting yet. It's a kind of place where you live, you live, and you keep living. There's not much more to it. That's probably why I feel this life here is set on the easy difficulty settings. I'm used to the 'normal' mode but here 'normal' is considered 'ludicrous' mode. Boredom isn't exactly my issue either. Do you see my dilemma now?
These thoughts have overwhelmed my minds capacity. And today I have this strange feeling in my stomach again and I feel like something is going to happen. The last time I felt like that, nothing ended up happening. Unless of course my feelings were somehow connected to something or someone in California which I am completely unaware of. Now that I think about it, this loss of connectivity to my "now" could be severed because I haven't quite let go of my direct connection with my prior life. My brain constantly goes into 'detecting network settings' mode every morning and it can't seem to pick up any 'wi-fi' networks around my area. Disconnecting my prior network might help but the problem is finding out how. This world of trees is a place just waiting to be explored but I can't seem to look past a single leaf without thinking what is happening on the other side of the world. 'Home sick perhaps?' I thought. '...nah!' That couldn't be it. There is nothing I miss there besides my best friends. But that was expected. This feeling is frustrating me. Is it some sort of anxiety attack? Mix feeling nervous with a side order of confusion. Ya...not the best combo on the menu.
I love this world of trees. It is everything I've ever needed and more. But maybe these trees are blocking my sight from the sky. No it can't be it. I don't think I'm making any sense in this little bundle of thoughts so I'll stop writing for now. I feel like I'm standing to my back on one of these trees with a crimson apple on my head but the arrow shot in my throat instead.
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