William and Terra

Entry 09 Time...???

"I'm afraid of it." said William. "I'm so God damn afraid of it!" He paced back and forth thinking of some sort of answer. His forehead wrinkled in between his eyes as tension began to grow higher and higher. "I'm not used to this. Something so good...yet I'm afraid!? I've NEVER had this issue before and now faced by the flirtatiously poking opportunity, I can't even move! What kind of category under men do I fall under? Wimp? Yellow-footer? Ohhhhh....what do I do? What do I do!?" The early morning hours passed by more quickly and decided when compared to Williams struggle for clues. His feet developed a routine dance pattern under a trance of emotion. Beautiful long strides of indecisive footing accompanied by a gloriously spinning mind. 'How beautiful!' would be the cry of a bipolar stadium filled with hormones of uncontrolled urges screaming "Encore! Encore!" Williams energy began to run dry like the idea of a good woman diminishing from his list of passions. The music finally stopped and his dance had come to a halt. He leaned his back against the wall by the lamp. He fixed his eyes on it, finding warmth and embrace from something so inanimate. His long drawn out sigh revealed more than just a puff of hot breath. His memories ran through his mind reminding him of all the good and bad times he has had. "...but what does this even matter??? It was all the same bull anyways. Everyone is just playing a show and WHY SHOULDN'T I!? I think it's my turn for the star role pal!!" But after a few more memory skits, one face popped up as a climax. Terra. "No...no I won't put on a show. But what if it's not enough? What if...no...It won't. It's not about chance. I'll just have to make this the best thing that has ever happened. I won't fail." His eyes softened immediately at the thought of her. His fists finally opened up after 3 hours of clenching. His veins on his neck succeeded and his stance was held strong by a sudden string of confidence. Her smile was bigger than his heart alone, and was enough to make him feel again. and so he whispered, "Terra...who are you to make my heart beat again..."

Unlike William, Terra had a slightly different struggle. "I can't do this. If I get any closer to him, I might lose the good I got now." She knew of the possibilities before her. She has been offered a chance to choose her fate, but tied was a sacrifice of a personal determination. "Why oh WHY do the things I get close to, ALWAYS fly farther away!!?? I can't afford to lose the good this has become! I can't and I won't! But...what if this time is different? I can see it when he looks at me. I feel him through my eyes. What do you think Maryl?" Terra was the type of person that saw things from two perspectives. She always needed the insight of her closest friend. In this case, although a little insane, Maryl was all the perspective she needed to understand what she might be dealing with. Maryl held up a shot glass filled with whiskey, "Cheers, Terra! To all the horrible men that lie through their teeth, show no mercy, fake more relationships than we do orgasms and all the ones who just want one thing in life. And by golly, I'll give it to them! Ha!" They clinked glasses and gulped..."Ahhhh...You see Terra, you need to just forget about that! Enjoy him but don't claim him. As far as we all know, he is probably thinking the same. They always do." Terra simply put her head down to avoid eye contact from anyone and anything as she lost herself in thought. Her head still down, she responded with a soft un-hopeful voice, "You're saying he's putting on a show?" Maryl laughed, "Hahaha, of course he is!!! Come on Terra, what do you think this is?? Marriage camp? Nobody looks for a wife nowadays. That's back in the 1700s babe." Terra knew Maryl had made a point. But the only thing Terra could think about was, 'what if I lose out on the best thing that could've possibly happened?' She looked back up to Maryl and said, "Ya...I guess you're right..." and at that point Terra realized she had just lied the biggest lie since the first time the words 'I love you' came out of her mouth. In balance, she whispered a truth she knew would bring her a smile, "William..."

"Never leave the one you love for happiness because in the end, you wont be happy without the one you love" - Anonymous