A Change of Heart

Entry 12 1:00am

Who was I?

I was the nice guy who was left stuck in between your toes like lint from the warm black socks you used to wear on your cold and lonely nights.

I was that one guy who still gave you a shoulder to cry on even when you only gave me a cold one back.

I was the nice guy who remembered your birthday on the night I spent alone with a gift ready at home waiting for an invitation to your party full of people who couldn't even remember your name.

I was that nice guy who tried to arrange the best valentines day I felt you deserved on the same day you made mine the worst I've ever known.

I was that nice guy who randomly sent you flowers on the night you were screwing someone else behind my back.

I was the nice guy who told you how beautiful you were without make up or your hair done while your insecurities were shoving me away into the tiny dark void you created in your mind thinking I was some kind of game.

Who was I? I was the nice guy who swore will never be a nice guy again

So then I became the dick who put lacitive in your drink on the night you told me you loved me.

I was the guy who had to look at your facebook just to wish you a happy birthday on the same night I threw up on your couch and left without saying goodbye.

I was the guy that you slept with the night before you woke up alone on your bed with a fake name and an impregnated belly to remember me by.

I was the one you sent a text to, never got a response back, and then told you I never got that text.

I was the guy who never brought any booze on every night you sent me a BYOB party invite.

I was the jerkoff you payed the dinner tab for when I said I forgot my wallet at home at the end of the meal when I was rolling twenties in my back pocket reserved for the whore who felt the same way I did. Heartless.

But Now I'm the asshole laying alone in my death bed without a person in sight staring at the heart rate monitor before it flatlines.